You Know You're Ugly When...

I've never been a natural beauty.  I have some friends that look as fresh-faced without makeup as they do with it.  But when I don't put on my makeup people tend to say,
"Are you okay?"
Makeup does a LOT for me.
Today I had to make a trip over the border into America to see an allergist.  I could have seen one here, but it would have taken a couple of months.  I've been feeling sick, and I had no energy this morning to do my hair OR my makeup.  I pulled up to the border crossing and the agent took my passport. He held it up next to my face and said, "I have a hard time believing this is you,"  not realizing he'd just given me the biggest slam a woman could receive.  But I was at my worst so I just accepted it as the truth.  I've had a hard time believing my own face lately when I look in the mirror.  If I'd had my makeup kit with me I could have whipped it out then and there and blown his mind away, I imagine.
While he was thinking stolen passport, suspected criminal activity, I was thinking, I knew I should have done my eyes...
I put on my best smile.
"Are you okay?" he responded.
I said, "Well, I am going to see a doctor."
"Well, you don't look well enough to drive."
"Really?"  I said.
"Really."
"Well, I am on medication."
"Well, you look like you could pass out and I don't want you to get hurt."
"Really?!"
"I'm serious." he said with a grave expression.
I was at a loss. I'd never been held up at the border before, I feebly offered the only thing that came to mind...
"I've made it this far."  (Did I just say that?)
There was a slight pause as I held my breath, then he reluctantly handed me my passport and waved me through.

Morale of the story:  Never, ever, do yourself up good for a passport photo, or at the very least, do your eyes before crossing the border.