Death Penalty

It's Spider Season. I see them everyday. On the ceiling. Near a window. On the counter. shudder-shudder. Up 'til now I've just been mildly irritated. But today, when I got out our maple syrup from the refrigerator and opened the lid, there sat a spider. Perched atop the maple syrup. Refrigerated maple syrup. With 8 little legs making dents in the surface tension. This has been the most egregious breech of personal space so far.


I know, you were hoping to see that spectacle. I did not have the presence of mind to catch it. Were you aware that a refrigerated syrup-perched spider is still fast enough to make a break for it in front of 3 befuddled humans? Just not quiet fast enough to beat an oncoming paper towel.